I Wish I Could See What You See

Complaining doesnt do anyone any justice and i am always complaining about my face. 

Im always in the mirror making faces, smiling , frowning, blank staring, turning my head side to side to catch a better view, ultimately i give up, turn the lights off and leave the room.

I hatttttttttte to be a victim i hatttte that word ... i like survivor better. And as i read my blog i realized mostly all i do is mope around talking about how ugly and i am and how my life sucks. How annoying, but honestly i never say this shit to get a response or a "im sorry caheri" or whatever... this is genuinely how i feel. I went from making people do a double take when they saw my cute face to people doing a double take to see my scar face. 

Its so hard for me to adjust to being this way, I dont know what else to do,  im almost to the point where i never want to go to another party, its pathetic.

Today i had a conversation with my mom about why i would rather be dead. As i tried to fight the tears i explained why. I just cant deal with my face, She fought hard to explain to me that "not just because i was her daughter" i am remarkably beautiful. 

I dont know what to believe, i wish i could see what other people "see"... are they being honest? or do they just feel bad? 

I am my worst critic, i say the foulest shit to myself, i clown myself the hardest about my face, i point every flaw out without hesitation, i speak the truth to myself.

This literature might be a little on the edge, a little ridiculous, a little annoying, a little scary...

but if you were in my shoes, you would understand completely. 

Trust me 

A writer named Jim O'brien

Ice City Almanac's Top Stories

From I Might Have Some Hope Here: The Caheri Gutierrez Story
I’ve heard Caheri Gutierrez describe her face as “deformed.” That’s her prerogative, of course. Certainly its irregularities -- after three surgeries limited to the right cheek and around her chin -- are noticeable, although no more so than her extraordinary eyes. There is scarring and disproportion; there are isolated ripples and patches of raised skin. The 21-year-old says she’s lost her mojo with men because of the changes to her face since it was shot up in a drive-by two-and-a-half years ago. “Guys don’t holla at me like they used to,” she says. Certainly it is not the face it used to be. But it is beautiful again. 

El Camino De Regreso

The bi-lingual newspaper Visión Hispana has published a (very) short version of our Caheri Gutierrez story en español:
El Camino De Regreso


POSTED BY JIM O'BRIEN
http://icecityalmanac.blogspot.com/

Pretty Ugly

Sometimes i think im pretty, when im getting dressed and ready at home, when i slip into my christian louboutin and my expensive dress and paint on my expensive make up. I think im pretty. But as soon as i step into public i feel like the ugliest shit. Im not as pretty as these other girls, i wish i was. I wish i was normal. I dont ever want to go out again.

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Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

single latin female addicted to retail

My second love is Fashion, I love finding great styles,fabrics, accessories,trends and better than that great prices! I get a rush from shopping.

my theory is:

"Its not about brand, Its about style"

here are some of my favorite retailers.

The Disco Pant 
$82.00
American Apparel is the color-coded hipster heaven, although their fabrics might be pricey at times, you are always going to find a great piece. They range from women,men and children to accessories. 

Material Girl is sold Exclusively at Macy's. The pieces sold have an edgy glam rock look to them. Also they have now added a beauty line to their collection.  

white Shoulder Cut out dress 
$189.99

bebe is to the go-to store to go when in need of a party dress. All of their styles are modern and chic. Theres no doubt that you will find the perfect get up.They have good pieces and very affordable.

Hudson Jeans Basic Straight 

$154.00

Nordstrom also known as Nordies is the BEST place for Jeans and quality handbags as well as salon and designer shoes. 

Crochet tail blouse
$58.00

Nasty Gal is an online store that features ultra vicious styles. They are always on top of the latest brands. Not only does Nasty Gal fulfill your clothing necessities but they also feature accessories such as jewelry, handbags and shoes.

 Zara Clothes are available for men, women and children of all ages, sizes and shapes. There are a lot of fashions designed with tall, curvy women in mind. you're sure to find something that will let you express your sense of fashion to the world.

                 Jacket $49.95

H&M is a Swedish Apparel that offers fashion for both men,women and children.
They collaborate with designers such as Versace, Lanvin, Jimmy Choo...

Wide Leg Woven Pant w/ Belt
$22.80
 Forever 21 offers the most current fashion and accessories for young women and men. I personally love to pop up and stack up on basic tops and tees. Also their very affordable bling, there no doubt that you will not leave empty handed.


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also i wont forget the vintage shops and salvation armys all around the bay Thank you fashion god for these stores & more.

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