The story behind my Instagram separation.

I deleted my Instagram today. It felt like a big relief , like a big weight off my shoulders. I always told my sister that when people delete their social profiles it usually means that they are going thru change and want to disconnect from the public in others words "they goin thru some thangs". For me there were many reasons behind the discontinuation.

I am 23 years young (I say that proudly lol) and I am newly taking on the role of a case manager along with being an educator for my agency Youth ALIVE! What does this mean? More responsibility. It also means leading by example , it's also means I can't express the truth about how I feel about certain shit it also means I shouldn't be engaging in certain actives or events that go on in Oakland because ultimately I am working to serve and represent my community and so how are people from Oakland especially older cats going to take me serious. Sigh! 

  

This is true. I found myself realizing that I couldn't post certain pictures (like ones of me talented lot twerking lol) or me taking shots at a celebration , smoking a cigarette and things like that. I mean I guess the fact that I never posted pictures like that is a good thing but I was starting to feel like I couldn't participate in ratchet activities with my friends. I'm sure some of you are thinking "why would you want to partake in that?" But I must remind you all I AM 23. 

So I spent many days and weekend nights in my apartment thinking about what really matters to me. Of course my career and future came in the lead. I had made a blurry manifestation in my mind that for the sake of my future I would not participate in risky activities. What really made this decision clear and permanent was when my friend drove me to the 7street car races on a Saturday night. We pulled up to the scene and it seriously looked like a Fast and The Furious movie. There was a large crowd of young folks with their cars parked and some where racing. My heart starting beating fast and I got this intuition feeling that I shouldn't be there. I felt like a governor at the strip club ... It felt so wrong but it felt so good. Actually it didn't feel that great because I was mostly nervous and crazy paranoid. Before I could say what I thought was going to happen- it happened. I looked towards the crowd and there they were, a group of my former students. Before I could die I told my friend to to " Get me the hell out of here." After that night I made a stern decision. Fuck this shit.

I also started to get very sick of the posts that people would upload on IG. It was very negative, disempowering, pathetic, annoying, unreal and plain ridiculous. I must say that I will miss a handful of my IG fellows. But I will live.

I have decided to keep my Facebook only because I pretty much only have my family in my network and in terms of priorities I have learned that family is always first. So fuck friends , I'm all about my beloved down ass family.

I foresee a great new start. I am stepping into this professional alter ego role , this promotion is something I have always wanted and I will not jeopardize it. 

So this is where I am now. Deleting my Instagram and divorcing my youth. I feel great about it.