Goodbye, Youth ALIVE!

In 2011 I began my journey with Youth ALIVE!. I remember my interview like it was just yesterday. I was 20 years old, I entered the office trembling with palms sweaty but certainly in a killer professional outfit, my nails painted red. I stumbled on my words as I struggled to give the perfect answer. Sweat gathered on my top lip and my foot would not stop shaking. I laugh as I reflect on that day. Throughout my years at Youth ALIVE! I challenged myself to feel the fear and experience growth. Sure, I asked stupid questions and made many mistakes as I learned the ropes. But one thing is for sure,  I never gave up, I never stopped being committment. The organization gave me an arena to develop professional skills, it gave me a platform to share my story of survival and resiliency, it gave me the financial stability to be able to uplift my family and myself. Youth ALIVE! cradled me in like I was family. As the youngest member of the staff, my colleagues and supervisors provided me with patience and guidance. Every November 20th my ED presented me with a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a sentimental card, honoring my life as I celebrated another year of beating the bullet that almost killed me. I remember one year Tammy Cloud organized a surprise celebration party with all of my loved ones present. Mom, Eli, David, Demetria, my students, and others joined the surprise and gifted me a volleyball with positive messages written by all 35 of my students at Castlemont and Youth ALIVE! Staff. I think back to those days and my heart smiles and my mind fills with thoughts of beautiful memories. 

I kicked ass, though. In the time that I worked with Youth ALIVE! I received two promotions. I went from being a direct service provider to management. From handing out surveys after my workshop presentation to creating excel worksheets and loggin in all of the information reflected on those papers. From racing students during icebreakers to racing against the clock to write reports and meet deadlines. Oh, the sweet life.

With all this said, It is with mixed emotions that I make the official announcement. As of August 19 I will no longer be with the agency. Of course, It was not an easy decision to make because I truly enjoy working with all of my colleagues and most importantly because I LOVE my TNT kiddos. I appreciate the opportunities I have been given at Youth ALIVE! and the professional guidance and support. I wish the agency nothing but success in the future. I am choosing to make a promising power move and to also focus on my academic goals.

I am beyond excited to share specifically what is the next for me! But for now, you'll have to digest the information that I just shared and hang on to the suspense. I PROMISE you’ll love the news!

With Oakland love,

Caheri Gutierrez

Promoted as Program Coordinator!!!!!

I've had the pleasure of being with Youth ALIVE! for 5 years.

The first time my family engaged with the agency was in 2006 when my brother was shot. He ended up at Highland Hospital and was assigned a skilled life changing Case Manager through Youth ALIVE!, his name is Emilio Mena. I remember sitting in my living room on a hot summer day in East Oakland just studying the way that Emilio was able to engage my hard-headed brother. A lot of "yes" head nodding and real discussion. First time I ever witnessed my brother grow love for a male role model. I knew the agency represented authentic community work.
Two years later in 2008 I would have the pleasure of opening my eyes and writing "Hello" (because I had a breathing tube pierced in my throat) to my guardian angel Case Manager, Tammy Cloud. She was assigned to me when half of my tender face was blown off by a random shooting. As many of you know...Tammy Cloud is badazz, hands down. Straight altered my life by providing me with trauma informed care, a strong system of support, and instilling hope in my heart. She is one of the main factors that has propelled me to go so hard in life. She is why I am working with Youth ALIVE! today. 

I began my career in the filed of Violence Prevention as a Violence Prevention Educator, I did that work for 3 years. After advocating tirelessly (because I wanted to be like Emilio and Tammy so bad) YA! changed my title to Case Manager. For the past two years Ive enjoyed learning the skills it takes to transform and inspire the lives of "AT- PROMISE YOUTH". Ive learned and grown so much professionally. This past month was a challenge for me because our Program Coordinator transitioned out of our program. Scrambling to keep a continuum of contract deliverables, training our young people, facilitating workshops, and case managing youth - I bravely stepped up to the plate and willingly took on added responsibility - like a boss. Through this experience I did a lot of self-reflecting and realized that Its time to move out of direct service work and step into management, a new level in my professional career. I interviewed for the position, went through a grueling hiring process, received the offer letter, negotiated my package, and after a satisfying conversation I accepted the position of Program Coordinator!

There is it.Today I completed my first official work week as management. It has been a busy but awesome ride. I anxiously look forward to building on to my professional experience, attending training, and learning management skills. 

Thank you to all of my mentors who groomed me for this position. I could've have done it without you! HOORAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

Pictures of my work at Youth ALIVE! over the years

My story put together by UC Berkeley students

I worked with two talented UC Berkeley students to create this short documentary that features my personal story of overcoming gun violence. Not only do I share my testimony but I also talk about extremely helpful tools that I received from Youth ALIVE! to help alleviate anxiety, depression, and overall trauma. Check it out and maybe share it. The story and the tools can potentially help someone out there.

Below is the link !

CAHERI'S STORY OF OVERCOMING GUN VIOLENCE AND TRAUMA

AFF 2014 - Caheri Gutierrez, "Oakland Story," on gun violence

Dear Life

So much has happened since I last briefly checked in. Im kicking ass in school, work is wonderful because I am growing within my agency and learning so much along the way, I'm still single and loving every moment of it :) SERIOUSLY. Caheri's Closet successfully gave birth to a swaggy season 4. My family is healthy ...cant complain. My older brother was released from prison last week.

I'm loving life and very thankful for every opportunity that has emerged.

Im working on a few blog posts ...stay tuned.

searching for scholarships and grants

I'm searching for scholarships and grants that offer financial assistance to someone like me who is a first generation latina attending college, survivor of violence, a woman, a community leader, pursuing Nursing, attends community college , love's oprah and rihanna, is left handed ....etc LOL

Feel free to share this information with people who might have potential connections or resources.

I am willing to share my story, speak on a subject, facilitate a presentation, write essays, dance, sing, act, read a poem.

my contact info is

caherigutierrez@gmail.com

Thank You

music by caheri

I'm into singing, everyone who really knows me, knows that. Ive been singing since about 5 years old. Anyways , i was looking through my old archives and found this little gem. This song was recorded in 2009 shortly after the shooting. If you listen closely you can hear my lisp. Back in 09 my mouth palatalization was worse than it is now. It was harder for me to make out precise sounds. Almost like Kanye on his "thru the wire" track.  The song isnt the best quality because it hasnt been mastered and maybe i would change some of my lyrics to make the chorus more complex but I must say that the message resonates with you because it is so poignant.

Singing is one of the things i do to release stress and to bring calming. I love singing just as much as i love volleyball. In fact in 2003 I was torn in between making the decision of staying and recording a demo with a talent agency named "Tengo Talento" or accepting the golden bear volleyball club offer. 

I chose volleyball, but i never lost the passion for my music.

 

.

0h9 from yuNqBaNqZw0Rld on Myspace.

its been 5 years!!!!

Today marks 5 years since the shooting that exploded my face, teeth, jaw and nearly killed me. I cant take away or downplay the seriousness of this particular day but what i can do is be grateful for what has manifested since that day. I must acknowledge that today feels very different than the last 4 other Nov 20ths. Last night I had so many other progressive thoughts and projects that i hardly had time to be melancholy. That energy has carried on with me today and i believe it will ride with me until the weekend is over.

The truth is ...there is nothing to be unhappy about anymore. I have found the true meaning of happiness and it isnt always driven by how i look or what i wear or how much money i have in the bank. I have learned so much from the real world , the books and the streets. I find cheer in knowing that I am still present to hug my family , I inspire people , I am on my way to become a nurse, and that i am making a difference in my very own community. Overtime those things are what have been the most rewarding.

I thank all of my family and friends who have been there to support me. My recovery would never have been possible without each and everyone of you. I promise that i will never forget who you are. I love you for caring about me.

Dewey Alumni

one picture , a million memories.

model & photographer search

Today I am commencing a model search for an upcoming Caheri's Closet behind the scenes teaser and photo-shoot. Feel free to message me or email me with any questions or suggestions. 

 I am also in search of a photography studio and or a photographer.

 Please share my contact info with potential candidates caherigutierrez@gmail.com Thank you 

A KQED REPORT

this forthcoming season and weather

Many people love the summer , I used to. Summer meant vacation, pools, cut off shorts, mac dre music and parties. During the hot summer days I used to love sitting in front of my porch while getting my hair braided (in the latest j.lo style)  just watching the boys go by. I loved summer because my best friend (we used the term "best friend" so loosely didn't we?) at the time and I , had abundant hours to paint our nails ,talk about boys and walk to and from the local liquor store. Summer was the best.

And then i grew up. And then i got shot.And then it felt like i was reborn again and had to figure out my identity all over. I dont regret that experience at all , in fact that is why i love the gloomy weather so much.

It was during the autumn and winter that i lived my best and worst moments. I clearly remember looking out the window of my hospital room one evening in December. I couldn't help but to notice how clouded, dark and cold it looked outside, at the same time it charmed me. Maybe it was because i was tired of seeing the inside of a hospital building or maybe it was a sign.

Fast forward to winter of 09 ...things were boiling.  I began to go to parks at night with my sister and close family friends. For the first time i swallowed booze and vodka , i cant even remember most of those nights in 09 because i simply passed out. Everyone around me started to worry about my low tolerance but i insisted that i would be ok!

I was starting to become a bit comfortable in my new skin. I can confidently say that playing volleyball in college was when i began to get my feet wet. When I was on that court , i felt powerful and talented. It was like all of my worries, paranoia and self esteem issues would seamlessly disappear when i was playing volleyball. I started to make friends with different people, i started to voice my opinions for the first time in a long recovery, i began to walk with my head high.

Volleyball in college was awesome but my hard reality was , moms needed help paying the bills. I felt really pressured to begin working. It took alot from me to approach a manager only to be quickly denied and stared at. It fucking sucked, it really did.

 Desperate for money, I began to hustle with my cousin and mutual friend.We knew the holidays were coming so we worked hard...we made so much money that winter ...it was unbelievable. My confidence and self esteem began to rise with this new money in my pocket and designer everything. Christmas time came around and so did we. We came back to our homes on Christmas eve with large amounts of shopping bags including Gucci, Victorias Secret, Target , Best Buy and more. Our families were dumbfounded and pissed but they were also drunk and very pleased with their gifts.
I was young and thuggin , that shit was ridiculous.

 

It was winter season and from time to time I wouldn't have anyone to hang out with me because everyone was coupled up drinking hot cocoa and watching movies -____- I slowly, desperately and depressingly started to desire someone who would love this ugly new me. It didn't take long before cupid came to the rescue!

It was winter time when i fell hard for someone. Our relationship was perfectly imperfectly and i loved it. For the first time since my accident I was someones boo. It felt great to be wanted , it felt great to be able to go on dates. Even tho this person and I aren't together anymore I will forever cherish those memories during the winter time when all we wanted was each other in the cold night and days. 

My self esteem wasnt the only thing getting stronger. According to my doctors I was making a speedy recovery in terms of post surgery.

All great  things happened to me in the cold time. 

THE SHOOTING. COLLEGE. VOLLEYBALL. LOVE. EAST COAST. HOLIDAYS. 

YOUTH ALIVE. BIRTHDAY.

 LIFE.

Im looking forward to this weather. I like to reflect alot during this time. 

I like to think about how i was doing when i was 19 and what life is like for me now.