OVERWHELMED

I Caheri Scarface Gutierrez

am completely overwhelmed

but listen you can be happily overwhelmed or you can be sadly overwhelmed

Im BOTH

trying to concentrate on tasks but all i keep thinking about is life

and how crazy it has been for me both good and bad.

the booklet has been published, its a very short 2 page booklet that compresses my story and the work that youth alive does, it has pretty pictures and the colors are vibrant printed on very nice paper. GREAT

people OFFFFFTEENN ask me 

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT SHARING YOUR STORY?

Its almost like they expect to hear that im shy about it, that im uncomfortable, that i want to cry at that very moment, but in reality im not.

I see this project as an amazingly cool thing ,

im actually flattered and whenever i share my story i feel comfortable

i feel the URGE.

my experience was traumatizing, actually it continues to traumatize me, terrorize me, scandalize me and scare me

but with all that mess , there needs to be order

there needs to be a solution so others wont ever have to feel this way.

so i ask myself why do i feel this way?

ive realized that i still continue to suffer from PTSD

(post traumatic stress disorder)

im stressed , depressed but well dressed

i cant put the pieces of the puzzle together but at the same time im happy.

im on a high right now 

the situations that i have experienced while working at Youth Alive

are one of the BEST experiences

they have enlightened me , empowered me , taught me , loved me.