Right now i feel like a soldier in a helicopter getting ready to land on battlefield. Knowing whats coming , all of the complications and fears and traumas. Its a horrible feeling.
Right now im at the hospital in the oral maxillary department with gauze in my mouth... mouth sore , bloody and implantless.
Mission "implants" failed. i started developing swelling and soreness on the outside of my incision so i came to the hospital and they said i will have to be admitted into the hospital for a couple of days.
I have the biggest migrane right now my makeup is smeared because of all of the crying ive been doing.
This morning was not suppose to go this way.
Truthfully im scared to put on that robe , to lay in that bed, to receive and walk around with that iv, to eat the nasty hospital food, to be inside of that room , to sleep in the hospital. All sorts of stress disorders will be aroused and energized. I dont want to go through this.
It brings me back to those eerie grey cold days when i was hospitalized. I just wanted to go home.
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