I get so frustrated sometimes.

Check it , before getting shot i was on the road to media success.

I loved it , it was my passion, photo-shoots,blogs,music video appearances,meetings for shows with MTV,promoting parties in different cities, fashion shows,designing, styling models, featured in the newspaper, recording music. I had my hands full , full of what i wanted. 

I had boys galore ,girls galore shit was gooood.

 Now i see my folks coming up and im a little jealous, like FUCK i couldve beeeen on the map if it wasnt for this fucken deformity that i walk around with, my fucking face kills it man.

For the most part im coo, i mean i gotta a promising job now that i do love with a passion, great salary,people know my name in the community  blah blah but, im not complete.

There is a big chunk that still remains empty in my happy cirle... its the media fufillment. oh and also the male that i want in my life, but we will leave that for another blog haha.

anyways yes its this artsy part of me that just laid back and locked itself in a treasure chest ever since i got shot. i guess its cause of the insecurity, i mean obviously i cant be a model anymore , and idk i guess i have to get 100% comfortable with myself to even want to try to be on tv.

Its just alot of shit that i still want to do.

sometimes i wish i was never shot, i probably wouldve been famous by now. 

i believe things do happen for a reason , after being shot i left that social butterfly attitude and went back to that scholar community leader i was before i started getting into modeling.

i dont miss my old life , i just miss my old confidence to be out there.