Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Last night I cried.

Last night I cried, but it felt so good.
last night I was with the girl who I was with when i got shot.
since the shooting we've had our rough times, we did have a falling out, over some stupid shit.

But we where together , in the same car when the traumatic event took place.
so, even if we want to forget about each other, there is that one event, that life changing experience.

You know, we never talked about it so deep as we did lastnight. it had to have been the combination of the alcohol, the emotions and the long time without seeing each other. we once claimed to be best friends. i dont know if i even believe in those two words, but i do believe that i love that girl in the end.

Well I cried, so much, and so did she and we hugged.
I never really thought about how this shit affected her.
shes traumatized

It all began when we started talking about how weve grown up and how we dont really mess with the town like that anymore and how paranoid she feels every single time a car pulls up next to her. thats not okay.
so i felt bad , in a way i felt like it was my fault that she felt that way. like if i wouldnt have gotten shot , she would be a little more stress free when driving.

I realized that she probably has post traumatic stress disorder, and then the tears came from my eyes.
I said " you dont know how hard it is to look in the mirror everyday" and then she started crying. i was so choked up with emotion that i can barely even say anymore. i dont even remember what else i said. but we hugged and cried on each others shoulders. i cant say that i will ever have another bond like ours. we share a traumatic disordered experience.

we walk around with out heads high and our gucci gucci louis louis fendi fendi prada's in hand, designer shoes and nice cars, like everything is perfect. but inside we are broken we are scar'd. that shit fucked me up you know?

I love that girl with all my heart. Yes, sometimes she did let me down major, but looking back at everything we've been through, shes done more good than bad.


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