Tuesday, June 7, 2011

When a girls gotta go a girls gotta go

I just had to run out of my house! The screams followed me all the way to the bottom of the stairs. Hair wet, blouse half way buttoned. But I just had to leave. Sometimes living in a house full of girls can be great, yea we all share cool clothes. And give each other good advice and shit like that but godddd , girls can be so frustrating!
See I work every single day, monday thru sunday 8.5 hour shifts ,full time. And I love it I can seriously say I love both of my jobs. But so when I get home, I dont leave I just lounge. All of my free time is consumned by these chicks. Never any time to myself. Im always trying to take care of everyone else that i forget about self care.
I have a small head filled with huge ideas and thoughts and opinions and insecurities and music and designs and memories, feelings ,flashbacks and then of course... ptsd (post traumatic stress disorder). Its a crazy world. On top of that I have these crazy girls in my house too, one sleeps with me in my bed, shes my little sister, eli.
I feel like my brain is blogged with so much , to the point where I forget the next word that im gonna say, this is truth!
My manager is a therapist in the making, he attends the grad program at cal to get his masters in that field. So when we met for our weekly check ins I had to spill the soup. He suggested that I need some ,SELF TIME! I need to go out and take a long walk BYMYSELF, or go to the gym BYMYSELF, go grab coffee BYMYSELF, in other words relax by myself.
Hes right , I drain myself so much just listening to these girls argue and talk.
I wake up to these bitches (excuse my language) screaming at each other, fuccck that. I get in the shower, get out brush my hair throw on some levi shorts a tank and blouse and some sandals, im out of here. At first I was running to starbucks which is one block away from my house(thank you god), but then I just walked, looked up at the sky and continued thinking about life.
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